Hello everyone, I thought I’d start the week off with a short post on friendship. I know this might seem a little out of place amongst all of the blogmas posts, but I won’t be doing blogmas and I think it’s good to have a bit of variety out there! A lot of admiration for people putting the effort in though.
The motivation behind this posts comes as recently there was a little drama in my friendship group which is far too long to go into, but it definitely made me reflect on my approach to friendships and situations. As inspired by Kylie Jenner herself, I’ve had a few realisations and I thought that I would share. It’s potentially easy for friendships to become toxic or unhealthy, so I think keeping a few things in mind will make stuff less complicated. However, this isn’t to say all friendships should be super hard work, because that might highlight that there really isn’t something right.
- Communication. See this one can go two ways. Some people are crap at communicating and they’ll never change. Yes, it’s very annoying and you’re definitely within your rights to ask for a bit more communication. It doesn’t have to be excessive i.e. constant texting, but a phone call, say once a week, can sometimes be all you need. For those amongst us who don’t really do communication, I urge you to try a little bit to make contact with your friends as much as possible, because there’s only so much you can get away with ‘never being on my phone’ or ‘sooooo busy sorry!!’. If you don’t communicate at all, you can seem reeaaaally distant and as if you aren’t putting effort. Of course, I recognise for some people it is incredibly hard for them to communicate, especially if they’re in a bad place. At the same time, I 100% have friends who I feel like over communicate. I know it’s meant well, but constant voice notes about their exact day to day activities can be a bit of an overkill. To be fair, it is lovely and very sweet but it can go hand in hand with spending too much time on your phone. Some of my friends send so many texts and it honestly makes me feel slightly anxious having all the messages sitting on my phone waiting for my response. Sometimes I just want to chill out and feel no ties to my phone, so constant communication certainly doesn’t help. Also, let’s just be honest, there is really no need for relentless texting.
- Your friends are human. And all humans, including you, make mistakes. It goes without saying, some mistakes are inexcusable and almost impossible to come back from, but I reckon we can definitely cut our friends and ourselves some slack. I can get pretty fired up over somethings and angered by some of my friends decisions, but then sometimes I’ve got to look at it in the bigger picture and just take a step back. It’s so important to try and view things from other people’s points of view, in order to see why they might have acted in a certain way. As long as everyone involved can recognise they’ve made a mistake and accept it so then things can move forward. It’s probably the most mature thing to own up to a mistake and hold your hands up. People do silly things, all the time, often without explanation, but it happens.
- You can’t force friendships, or mould them into something you want. It’s true that some friendships can take a little bit of work or adjustment to the way one another approaches life. Nonetheless, some people are just incompatible and probably will never work as good friends (maybe acquaintances, that girl you chat to at a party about nothing in particular) so there’s no point forcing it. Or you just don’t click, you don’t feel that spark or chemistry – same as a relationship. Another crucial thing I’ve realised, which some people could be inclined to disagree with me about, is that you can have different types of friends. Some friends will just never be the ones that give you amazing advice and aren’t that reliable, but they’re always brilliant fun on a night out and guaranteed to provide some excellent memories. Some friends might hate partying and you don’t necessarily have those kind of memories with them, but they’ll always be down to have deep chats with you and offer as much help as possible. These are obviously just examples and of course, the ideal is a combination of everything you’d like from a friendship – but those people are your BEST friends. Not everyone has to be your best friend, keep that circle small.
Friendships are crazy, special and one of the best parts of life. They’re not always straightforward and undoubtedly require effort on both sides, but a good friendship can be a real blessing.